Thirsty.

Isn't it interesting that the things we typically find most difficult in life are the things we can't control.

Why do we have such a need for control?

What is it about humans that make this such an issue for us?

I guess it all goes back to the Garden.

Adam and Eve tried to control their fate instead of trusting that the Lord knew best.

Why?

Why was what the serpent was offering them so much more appealing than what the Lord was offering?

Didn't they realize the magnitude of what they already had?

They were in direct contact with the Lord.

They didn't just pray to Him. . .they spoke face to face.

They walked together.

They were WITH God. 

And they were going to stay with Him FOREVER.

But then things got out of control because Adam and Eve tried their hands at control.

It's just so ironic.

When we try to control things, nothing ever goes right.

Everything goes OUT OF CONTROL.

Fast. 

So our efforts to do things on our own ultimately ends in failure. 

So why do we keep trying?

I have such little faith in what the Lord is capable of.

Yes, I know the Lord is powerful.

I know He is the creator of all things. 

I know. 

But I don't truly believe it. 

Why?

Why is it so hard for me to believe what He says?

Why must I doubt?

He's never given me any reason to doubt Him.

He's never disappointed me in any way.

So what's the problem?

I let my fears get the better of me. 

I fear what could or might happen and instead of trusting that the Lord is going to take care of me,

I freak out and try to do it all on my own. 

But what happens when He gives me something that's too big for me?

What will I do then?

My greatest fears in life are:

1. To be diagnosed with cancer

2. To lose my loved ones

3. To never get married

All of the above are things far beyond my scope of control.

So what am I supposed to do IF/WHEN these things happen?

I know what I'm supposed to do, but I'm just worried about what I will actually do.

I desire to have that kind of faith. 

The kind of faith that people recognize.

The kind of faith with no doubts, no regrets, no hesitations. 

True. 

Genuine.

Faith. 

That is something I thirst for.