Graduation Day!

So guys I graduated from college yesterday...

that was pretty weird. 

Just me and my sisters. 

Okay Halley isn't technically my sister...but she might as well be. 

Carey Roommates Y2K12.

My dear friend Leslie, 

a.k.a. "Noëlle,"

French wouldn't have been the same without you.

Mom and Dad.

Aren't they just so cute?

My precious Sutton, 

my very first friend in college. 

Sweet Hanna Sams,

we've had so many interesting adventures. 

My darling Amber, 

you always put up with my craziness. 

And Anna, 

my beloved cow. 

These are just a few pictures from the joyous day....it was basically just one long photo shoot. 

It was a pretty weird experience, 

mostly because well...

I've never graduated college before. 

I've so enjoyed my time here at Louisiana Tech. 

I can't even begin to describe how much this place has influenced me over the past four years. 

I've learned so many countless lessons, 

some easy and some hard, 

but all with very real and very necessary purposes. 

I've made so many wonderful relationships here, 

friends, 

mentors, 

teachers, 

etc, 

etc. 

I'll never be able to thank all of you for all that you have meant to me. 

There have been so many of you who have invested so much in me and I am so very grateful. 

The Lord has blessed me infinitely more than I could have ever dreamed. 

I am one lucky girl. 

Ruston has been good to me in so many ways. 

I don't even want to try to list them all...

so I won't, 

because I would inevitably leave something/someone really important out,

and then I would just feel silly.

So thank you to all the men and women who have 

cared for me, 

prayed for me, 

encouraged me, 

listened to me, 

taught me, 

had fun with me, 

and influenced me. 

You have been a blessing in my life. 

Thank You. 

"I thank my God every time I remember" Philippians 1:3

So I Finished College...What Now?

Well so I finished college yesterday.

That sure was weird. 

I can't believe it's already time for graduation;

I definitely do NOT feel old enough for this. 

But it's here and it's time so I guess I better get ready! 

Well I thought I would share with you all some of my plans for after graduation. 

Everyone is asking so I thought I would go ahead and fill you in.

But be prepared....

I don't have many plans. 

Let's run through a brief timeline, shall we....

Okay so I graduate from Louisiana Tech University,

with a BA in French and Spanish, 

and a minor in English, 

on Saturday, May 18, 2013. 

The next day I move back to Lake Charles. 

Thursday, May 23, 2013, 

my mom, Barbara, 

and my pseudo sister, Halley, 

and I leave for our graduation trip! 

We will be visiting Jordan and Thailand!

Don't worry I'll keep everyone updated! 

Tuesday, June 4, 2013, 

we return to Lake Charles from Bangkok, Thailand. 

Thursday, June 6, 2013, 

I leave at 6 a.m. for Los Angeles. 

(Yeah...I know....that's going to be a rough couple of days)

Thursday, July 25, 2013, 

I return to Lake Charles from LA. 

Tentatively:

Thursday, August 1, 2013, 

I will be going to Kamp to visit and volunteer for a few days. 

Saturday, August 10, 2013,

I leave Kamp and return to Lake Charles. 

Sunday, August 11, 2013,

THE GREAT UNKNOWN. 

So that's a basic run down of my summer. 

Pretty jam packed I know, 

but I always figure I need to take advantage of opportunities to go and do while I can. 

So what if I'm going to be a little tired,

I can handle that.

I plan on updating my blog all summer so fret not you can all stay well informed!

Oh yeah....I have a blog!

Well folks....

....it's been a while. 

I almost forgot this bad boy even existed.

I've been off my blogging game,

TWO AND A HALF MONTHS,

since my last post,

that's just pathetic.

I do apologize.

I know all of my many followers out there have just been dying for some lovin!

I'm sorry I've neglected you,

but I'm back now! 

And fret not,

I'll have much more to blog about in the next coming weeks and months. 

So let's start with a small life update:

1. I've only got TWO WEEKS left of college.

I'm sorry what?!?

Oh yes that's right,

in just two short weeks I'll be done with school FOREVER.

(unless I decide to go to grad school, HA)

2. I currently have the summer planned,

but nothing beyond. 

This summer I'll be doing a summer training project in Los Angeles.

It's called the Intensive Training (IT) Project, 

through The Traveling Team, 

 a missions mobilization organization. 

(I'll give you more details later)

(I PROMISE)

3. I have a nice big trip planned! 

I, 

along with two fabulous traveling companions,

my mother, 

Barbara Thomas,

and pseudo-sister,

Halley Claudel,

will be exploring the exotic and faraway lands of,

JORDAN and THAILAND. 

Oh yes that's right from May 23-June 4,

it's gonna be AWESOME!

(Again, more details to come)

4. I have plans until August 10th, 

however,

after that my life is just white space,

to be filled with whatever the Good Lord desires. 

It's a rather strange feeling,

on one hand I like not knowing,

it's exciting and forces me to rely on the Lord's timing and not trust my own planning or agenda,

but on the other hand, 

it would be nice to at least have an idea of what I would want to do.

If anything just so that when I'm asked for the 24,389 time:

"What are you doing after graduation?"

I can respond with something other than:

"Uhhh I dunno"

Because then people just think I'm stupid,

and ya know that gets old.

But no matter, 

I'm sure something will come to me.

The current issue is that I don't know what I want to do.

Like I really have NO CLUE what I want to do with my life. 

I mean I could see myself overseas in ministry.

I could see myself in The States in ministry.

I could see myself overseas in grad school.

I could see myself in The States in grad school.

I could see myself at Kanakuk Institute or in seminary.

I could see myself as a tennis coach.

I could see myself as someone's assistant. 

I could see myself as an entrepreneur. 

I could see myself as a professor. 

I could see myself working for the government. 

I could see myself as a tour guide. 

I could see myself as a flight attendant. 

I could see myself as a teacher. 

I could see myself as a baker.

I could see myself as a calligrapher. 

I could see myself as......

See my dilemma? 

And those are just the general fields, 

that doesn't include things like:

where to live, 

who to work for, 

what field of study,

what language, 

etc, 

etc, 

etc. 

See it's all very complicated,

but then completely simple. 

And honestly,

 I don't mind the question,

it doesn't bother me to talk about it. 

Obviously, 

I've got some things I need to talk about,

and I like hearing other people's opinions,

because let's face it, 

some of you know me better than I do.

And it's just fun to hear what other people think. 

So if you've got any suggestions let me hear em!! 

I'm all ears!

Cleansing Rain.

I've been toying with the idea of this blog post for quite some time now,

but I've just never been sure if I really wanted to write it.

And even if I did, 

how would I do it?

What would I say?

But tonight I have decided that yes, 

I do want to share this with you.

So here goes.

I'm going to assume that I'm not the only person with,

what I like to call, 

a secret sin.

We've all got em,

right?

That thing that you just can't seem to get away from.

It plagues you.

You know it's wrong.

You know it's sinful.

You know it's hurting you.

You know it's hurting God.

But for whatever reason,

you just can't stop.

You might have some successful bouts,

a couple days,

a week or so, 

a month,

etc. 

And you're proud of those periods of restraint,

discipline, 

and freedom.

You think,

"This time is different."

"This time I'm going to kick it for good."

But eventually,

you don't.

And it's back.

And it's brought with it a lifetime supply of 

guilt,

shame,

low self-esteem,

self-pity,

hopelessness,

etc.

And the cycle begins anew. 

I have one of those.

Well actually, 

I used to. 

I was plagued by sin.

It was always with me.

At times it consumed me.

No matter how hard I tried,

it was still there. 

No matter how many changes I made,

it was still there. 

No matter how many times I prayed,

it was still there. 

I didn't understand it. 

I hated it.

I hated myself because of it. 

It made me sick to my stomach.

And it caused some serious emotional and spiritual issues. 

It made me feel worthless. 

It made me feel stupid.

It made me feel weak. 

I can't even fathom how many times I cried out to God to take it from me,

to heal me,

to clean me,

to rescue me. 

But I never felt like He did. 

It was always with me.

And eventually I just accepted the fact that this was always going to be an issue. 

But the beautiful thing is that God had a much bigger plan in mind. 

I never understood why I had to deal with this.

Couldn't it be something else?

Something a little smaller, or simpler?

And I still don't understand why it had to be this,

and I may never understand why.

But I do think I know why it had to last so long.

The longer it plagued me,

the sweeter forgiveness would feel. 

Allow me to share my story of redemption:

 December 19, 2012.

It was a Wednesday night,

 and we had finished up with CollegeLife.

After I had finished cleaning,

 a friend came up and asked if I wanted to go ride around with her.

She and I hadn't seen each other in a while so I said yes,

 and we got in her car and went on our way.

In the course of us driving,

 and talking,

 and singing, 

we started talking about "it."

This thing that no one

 (or very few, she being one of the few) 

knew about.

I was glad to be able to talk to her about this

 and have her be able to understand where I was coming from, 

and not think less of me.

We stopped driving and pulled off into this parking lot overlooking a big open pasture. 

As we were sitting and talking, 

I was just overcome with this feeling of extreme hopelessness. 

I felt like this was never going to go away. 

I felt like I was stuck with it,

and that was that. 

I felt weak and pathetic,

completely useless. 

And she said,

 "You know what? We can do this. But we have to do it together." 

Then she started to pray, 

at this point I'm just bawling my eyes out, 

and snotting all over the place. 

But as she was praying, 

something happened.

It started to rain, 

just barely. 

And I knew it was the Lord's blessing.

I just knew it.

I have never been so sure of anything in my life. 

So I just started saying,

"It's His blessing! He's blessing us! It's His blessing!"

Of course I just kept on crying,

and she leaned her head on my shoulder and said,

"It's almost like He's washing us clean."

And as soon as she said it, 

we both started screaming,

"Oh my god, that 's what He's doing!" 

"He's cleaning us!"

"What is going on!"

"I can't believe this is happening!"

And I'm sure many, many other things. 

The rain only lasted for a moment, 

but it was enough.

 So she and I climbed out of the sun roof and sat on top of the car,

blaring some Christy Nockles song. 

She was pure joy, 

just laughing and singing.

She was glowing.

I,
 on the other hand,
 was a basket case,

sobbing and nasty crying everywhere. 

I'm sure if anyone would have seen us they would have called the police.
We looked insane.

But it gets better. 

While we were singing and laughing and crying,

 it started to rain a second time.

And this time it rained just a little bit longer,

and just a little bit harder. 

And as soon as that first rain drop hit, 

I fell into hysterics again. 

I couldn't believe what was going on.

I couldn't believe what was happening.
I couldn't believe this was happening to ME.

While I was sitting on top of the car dazed and confused,

my friend noticed something in the field in front of us.

She sat there with her jaw dropped just pointing. 

Bring out the angels!

(Just kidding, there were no angels, but that would have been really cool though)

I leaned over and I saw it. 

The fence was making a shadow on the grass, 

and it was making the most beautiful cross. 

And as soon as I saw that wonderful cross, 

it started to rain a third time. 

And this time it rained just a little bit harder, 

and just a little bit longer. 

Cue hyperventilation. 

I was cleaned. 

I was washed clean. 

He literally washed me of my sins. 

And now I am whole.

I am finally free.

I am clean.

I am forgiven. 

I am redeemed. 

I am free. 

That sin is no longer a part of my life. 

I am no longer in bondage to it. 

I am free. 

The Lord freed me. 

Before I went to bed that night I read Psalm 31,

and of course I started sobbing all over again.

But it was the good kind of sobbing so it was okay. 

I had finally come to the place I had dreamed about for so long,

a place I never thought I would actually get to.

But I'm still here. 

I'm still free.

And it's the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced.
And I just had to share it.

I pray that the Lord shows you love and forgiveness. 

I pray that you find freedom.

I pray that you are cleaned.

Presents Schmesents.

It is the Christmas season!

YAY!!

I personally LOVE Christmas,

as most people do.

However, 

I feel my love of Christmas comes from a rather unique place,

it's not because of all the lights,

or festivals,

or parties,

or music,

or desserts,

it's because of the PRESENTS!

Please refrain from your immediate reaction of assessing my superficiality, 

and allow me a moment or two to fully explain. 

I 

LOVE LOVE LOVE 

giving presents. 

It's just a fact. 

Ask my friends and family, 

they know. 

I LOVE IT.

And so I love Christmas because,

Christmas gives me the opportunity to give a present to just about everyone I know. 

So to recap, 

I love Christmas because I love presents. 

Another and probably more significant reason why I love Christmas, 

is because I LOVE Jesus. 

And what is Christmas all about?

Why do we even have Christmas anyway?

Because of JESUS CHRIST.

So to recap again,

I love Christmas because I love presents, 

and because I love Jesus.

But the beautiful thing about my two loves of Christmas,

is that they go hand in hand. 

Allow me to elaborate. 

I give someone a present at Christmas for several reasons:

1. Because I love them. 

Simple. 

I give gifts to those I love.

I give gifts to those I want to show that I love. 

Because a present isn't just some random object,

or just useless junk. 

Oh no, 

a present is so much more. 

A present is an expression of my love for that person. 

A present says, 

"I love you. 

I found this for you because I knew you would like it.

I knew you would want it. 

I knew you would use it. 

And so I got it for you, 

and now every time you use it, 

every time you see it,

you are reminded of me. 

And you are reminded of how much I care about you.

And you are reminded of our relationship and what it means to you and to me.

I got you this present because I wanted you to feel important. 

I wanted you to feel special.

I wanted you to know that you matter to me, 

and I want to bless you with a gift that reflects that."

That is what presents are supposed to say.

But sadly I feel we say something more like,

"uhhh here, I would feel bad if I didn't get you anything,

so here's something seems like something you might like."

I hate to sound rude, 

but that's the absolute WRONG way to give someone a present. 

You might as well not even bother if that's what your attitude is. 

2. Because I love Jesus. 

Giving someone a present is a major task for me. 

It's not always easy.

It usually requires a significant amount of 

prayer, 

research, 

and time. 

I pray before I give someone a present,

simply because I don't always know what to give someone,

and I don't want to do it poorly.

So I pray and I ask the Lord to show me what to give,

and who to give it to. 

The Lord is involved in just about every gift I give. 

Because it's another way that I can trust Him. 

It's another way I can show Him that I love Him. 

When I give someone a present, I'm communicating something to God.

And it goes something like this:

"Lord, 

you have so graciously blessed me with this person in my life. 

You have given me this relationship,

and it's been a blessing. 

You have orchestrated everything about it,

and I want to thank you. 

I want to honor you by blessing this person with a gift, 

because you have blessed me with this person and the ability to give to them. 

Thank you Lord for this person in my life. 

I am going to show them how much I care about them through this present."

That is what giving gifts is supposed to communicate to God. 

I use it as a time to rejoice in how the Lord has blessed me.

I use it as a time to worship the Lord for all that He has done in my life! 

Giving other people presents demonstrates my love for my God. 

3. Because the Wise Men gave to Jesus first. 

The Bible lays out the foundation for gift-giving. 

Matthew 2:1-12 records the visit from the Magi, or Wise Men after the birth of Jesus. 

These Wise Men from the East, 

see the star above where Jesus was born and they follow it and come to worship him.

They don't come empty handed.

They come bearing gifts,

of gold, incense and myrrh. 

And since I'm not a Biblical scholar I will now cut and paste from someone who is.

This is an article from David Dewitt for helium.com

1.) Gold: The gift of gold was often reserved for royalty. The Magi told King Herod that they had come to see the one born King of the Jews. It is clear that they recognized Jesus as being royal but the question is why? The issue is the star of Bethlehem. The Magi had seen the star and they recognized the importance of the star in the sky as a sign of a spectacular birth. The Magi brought gold in some form, whether it was jewelry, coins, or just pieces, we are not told. The importance of the gift was that it represented the fact that Jesus was royal.

2.) Frankincense: The gift of frankincense is somewhat unusual. Frankincense was a highly valued commodity and somewhat rare. The Jewish people had a common use for frankincense that was directly connected to the worship of God. In the Temple, the Jews prayed before the Altar of Incense which was always kept burning. The substance burned on that altar was frankincense. When frankincense is burned it gives off a sweet smelling white smoke. The smoke rising from the altar of incense represented the prayers of the people rising to God in heaven. The only use of frankincense for Jews was at this altar and it was reserved for the worship of God. The Magi presenting this gift to Jesus represents the fact that He was indeed divine.

3.) Myrrh: The gift of myrrh seems the most odd of the gifts. Myrrh was extremely valuable and had a number of uses. The most common use was a perfume. Sometimes myrrh might be used in the homes of the wealthy to create a pleasant fragrance but was normally reserved for special instances. The major use of myrrh was for burials. Myrrh was placed on the cloths used to wrap bodies for burial to help prevent the smell of decay following death. The Magi presented this gift to Jesus as a representation that He would one day die. The gift almost seems to convey the fact that Jesus was born to die.

So you see these were highly significant gifts. 

The Wise Men didn't just bring gifts because they were expected to.

They brought them so that they could convey a message.

They said that this little baby was important to them,

and essentially declared that he was the Son of God,

the Messiah,

the King of the Jews. 

The Wise Men declared that Jesus was important.

The Wise Men declared that Jesus was special. 

This is why I give presents. 

Because I love them and because I love Jesus. 

It's not always easy, 

but it's always worth it. 

Peanuts to Peanut Butter.

Lately I've been really inspired to be frugal, 

but also be creative,

particularly in the kitchen. 

So thanks to the wonder that is, Pinterest I've been able to be both!

One of my first endeavors was

Homemade Peanut Butter! 

When I first saw it on Pinterest I was a little skeptical,

how can you make your own peanut butter?

That's got to be a super complicated and in-depth process,

right?

There's like all kinds of ingredients that don't even sound real, 

"...fully hydrogenated vegetable oils, mono and diglycerides..."

sounds complicated to me.

But I was pleasantly surprised when I actually looked at the recipe,

 and found it to about the simplest thing EVER!

Wanna know how to make peanut butter??

You take peanuts and grind em up!

That's it!!

Could it get any easier!

Here's a quick run down of my peanut butter making process.

1. I bought some honey roasted peanuts. 

You can use any brand you like, 

I got these because they were out of the store brand. 

But any will do! 

2. Get out your food processor,

and if you're like me,

call your friend Kyle to come rig it so that it will actually work.

It's a hand-me down,

don't judge. 

Next, you're going to pour your peanuts into the food processor. 

Mine is super tiny so I couldn't put much in there,

maybe about a 1/2 cup, 

you can do more depending on how big your machine is. 

3. Make sure everything is nice and secure, and then turn on your food processor.

And watch it go!

 It'll go through several different stages.

 I stopped it a few times to stir it around so it wouldn't stick in one place,

and I didn't want to overexert my machine. 

4. Get out your mason jar,

or a suitable substitute,

and get your peanut butter ready for storing, 

or EATING.

I keep mine in the fridge,

it should keep about a month or so if refrigerated, 

but mine barely makes it a week or two until I have to make more!

I left mine with a little bit of grit still in it,

partly because I like it chunky,

but also because I was afraid my food processor might explode. 

Don't worry,

it didn't.

5. Enjoy! 

I absolutely LOVED making this!

It's super easy,

super cheap,

and SUPER delicious! 

I don't know if I'll ever go back to store bought peanut butter AGAIN!

A New Perspective.

Hello ladies and gents!

I've been off my blogging game this school year, 

I do apologize. 

But I have be rather busy, 

quite a bit busier than I would normally like. 

But it's a good kind of busy.

The kind of busy where I have a lot to read and learn,

but I don't actually have to go anywhere or do anything. 

I'm taking a class at my church called Perspectives. 

It's so legit. 

It's a 15 week course about God's heart for the nations and His global glory. 

(here's the website if you want to read a bit more)

This class is serious business.

It requires more work than about any class I have EVER taken. 

Each week we have about 30-40 pages worth of articles, 

book excerpts,

 sermons, 

etc to read and answer questions about. 

It's proven to be somewhat of a challenge to get everything done on time, 

but I've managed to work out a system. 

And I'll tell you what,
 this class has rocked my world, 

and it's only WEEK FIVE!

Perspectives has opened my eyes to see God from a different point of view.

Up until now I've viewed God in terms of how I can understand Him.
Which is a very limited scope of understanding. 

So I basically viewed God as my own personal wishing well.

I had a problem, 

He fixed it.

I sinned, 

He forgave it. 

I was hurting, 

He comforted me.

I was alone, 

He was with me. 

Notice how many times I said "I" or "me"?

My image of God was so tainted by myself. 

So for me,
God existed to take care of me. 

That's what He's here for right?
WRONG.

I mean I would never have said,
"Uh yeah, isn't that what God's for anyhow,
to help a girl out?!"

I knew that God's purpose was His greater glory,
but I just never realized what,
"His greater glory,"
really meant.

But now I'm starting to understand.

Through this course I've learned that God is a global God.
That basically means that God's ultimate purpose is,
worship for Himself from a global community,
from every nation, tribe and tongue.

That doesn't mean the entire nation, tribe and tongue,
but it does mean a portion of every nation, tribe and tongue.

Think about the very scope of what that means,
every NATION, TRIBE AND TONGUE.

He's not talking about the political nations as we think of today,
it's more like people grouping.

So it's not just people who are the same race,
or nationality;
He's talking about every ethnicity,
people group,
culture,
subculture,
social class,
language,
dialect,
etc.

That really changes the way we look at verses that talk about "the nations,"
such as:

"Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples."
Psalm 96:3

"He was given authority, glory and sovereign power; all peoples, nations and men of every language worshipped him. His dominion is an everlasting dominion that will not pass away, and his kingdom is one that will never be destroyed."
Daniel 7:14

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit..."
Matthew 28:19

"You are worthy to take the scroll and to open its seals, because you were slain, and with your blood you purchased men for God from every tribe and language and people and nation."
Revelation 5:9

God wants to join people from every
culture,
tribe,
language,
people group,
ethnicity,
race,
 and nation,
to Himself through global worship.

That is God's purpose.
That is how God has chosen to reveal His ultimate glory.

So it stands to reason that Christ's purpose is also to reveal God's ultimate glory.
God chose to do that through global worship of Him,
and He chose to use Jesus Christ to do it.

So I can only conclude that,
it's not about me.

Christ did not come to the Earth to die for me.
He did not forgive us of our sins for us.
The salvation of mankind was not Christ's purpose,
God is.
God's glory is Christ's purpose.
And God chose to reveal that glory through the salvation of mankind.
God chose to use Jesus Christ for this.

It makes me think of that old saying,
"When He was on the cross, I was on His mind."
I'm sorry but I just find that to be a bit ridiculous!

Let's be real,
I have NO IDEA what was going through Christ's mind while He was on that cross.
But I highly doubt it was us,
me in particular.
I feel like Christ's thoughts were more than likely, focused on His Father,
and His Kingdom,
and His Glory.

Let's not get too conceited fellow humans,
we all know we're not that great.

This is something that I've really noticed lately.
We've got this almost subliminal messaging in the Christian church today,
and that message is that it's all about me.

If I hear one more song about how much God does for ME,
or another sermon solely on how much He loves ME,
I'm going to pull my hairs out.

We're getting things out of focus.
Does God love me?
Yes.
Does God care for me?
Yes.
Does He forgive, restore, redeem, renew me?
Yes.

Yes, He does all of these things and more!
And I am so glad that He does.

But we've got to remember that it's not about what He does,
but WHY He does it.
He does all of these things because they point directly to Him.
He loves us because He gets glory from that.
He redeems us because that's how He wants it.

It's not about us,
IT IS ALL ABOUT HIM.
He's the star of this show,
and the sooner we realize that,
the sooner His global glory will be revealed,
to every people,
tribe,
and tongue.