Like Mother Like Daughter.

So, I'm a junior in college.

"Sooooo what are you planning on doing after graduation?"

"What career plans do you have?"

I'm a French/Spanish major. 

"Oooo what do you want to do with that?"

"What CAN you do with that?"

Let me just answer all these questions really quickly.

I DON'T KNOW. 

I have absolutely no idea what I am going to be doing after graduation next May.

I barely even know what I'm going to be doing this weekend, 

much less next year. 

I really don't have any specific career in mind. 

I never have. 

French and Spanish were just the most logical...and easiest...choice for me. 

(thanks Calcasieu Parish and CODOFIL)

The thing is, I have a pretty broad field to choose from career wise. 

There are several jobs I could see myself doing and absolutely loving.

I could see myself coaching tennis for the rest of my life. 

And I would absolutely love that. 

I love tennis. 

I love coaching. 

It's fun watching my students understand and succeed, in the sport that I love so much.

It's very rewarding and fun. 

I could see myself as a teacher. 

Preferably high school or college level.

I would love being an English teacher or even a French teacher.

I love literature. 

I like reading it and learning about it.

I find it interesting.

And I think it would be nice to be able to share that.

I could see myself as a detective. 

I would LOVE to be a detective, or police officer. 

Call me crazy, but it looks FUN. 

I like thinking and trying to figure things out. 

I like solving puzzles and answering questions. 

I like finding solutions.

And I have very developed deductive skills.

But the job I want most is to be Mom. 

(for some of you who know me, I pretty much already am, except I have no kids)

I can't help it. 

I wanna be da mama. 

And it's not like I just want babies to play with, 

or that I have this crazy desire to be pregnant or something.

I just want to love kids that need it. 

I don't even really have to have my "own" kids. 

(I would like to but if not thats okay too)

I just know that there are kids out there that aren't loved. 

And I know that I can love them.

I don't really know how to explain how strongly I feel about this.

And so that leads me to believe that this is nothing short of divine.

I haven't always felt this way.

But I do now. 

And I know that this is what I was made for. 

This is what I will be good at. 

And I was made so for a reason. 

This job gets to take all of the jobs I could see myself doing and enjoying,

and it meshes them all into one. 

As a mother I will get to be 

coach, 

teacher,

detective,

chef, 

baker,

housekeeper,

laundress,

etc, 

etc, 

etc...

This list could go on forever. 

Maybe I've just had such a good example of what a mother looks like that all I can think to do is to emulate that.

I have an incredible mother.

She is very loving, encouraging, smart, creative, disciplined, etc, etc

(this list could go on forever too)

She has taken in so many as her own children. 

And I LOVE the picture of what she does.

She loves those who are not her own, as though they were. 

(she and my dad are REALLY good at this)

So maybe I just want to be like my mom. 

I want to love like they are my own. 

And I want to love on as many as God will give me. 

So I'm not saying I want to be mommy to my 3 perfect angels. 

I want to be mommy to the multitudes. 

The ones that other people don't want.

Those are the babies I WANT.

The rejected, abused, abandoned, orphaned, etc, etc

Those are the ones I want. 

Those are the ones I  need.

Those are the ones I am made for. 

Like they say

Like mother, like daughter. 

This ain't it.

I would like to share just a little piece of my heart with all of you tonight. 

As many of you know,

I have a special place in my heart for Honduras. 

I have had the opportunity and pleasure to travel there many times.

And each time has been even better than the time before. 

It's through Honduras, and the people there, 

that the Lord has shown me a lot about myself. 

He has shown me what I am good at.

He has shown me a lot about Himself.

He has shown me a small glimpse of what His future looks like for me.

He has shown me, what my heart beats for. 

My heart beats for him. 

It beats for my sweet Franklin.

(FYI, that's Franklin)

He's around 11 years old now. 

Wow, he's getting old.

I first met Franklin when he was 7.

He had just arrived at the Good Shepherd's Children's Home, in El Zamorano. 

He was quiet and shy and incredibly skinny.

His poor belly was big and puffy, just full of parasites. 

There was just something about him, 

all I wanted to do was hug him and squeeze his precious face. 

I've had the extreme pleasure of getting to watch sweet Franklin grow.

He's no longer the weak, frail boy he once was.

He is big and strong, and just as lovable as ever.

It's been over a year since I've seen him.

That makes me sad. 

It makes me sad knowing that I can't be there with Franklin everyday.

I'm not there to see him play with his friends and learn new things. 

I wish I had the pleasure of getting to see that.

But what kills me are the years before I knew him. 

Just thinking about all those nights he went to bed hungry.

All those days he spent begging and stealing to survive. 

All those years he spent worrying about things a 7 year old boy shouldn't need to worry about. 

It hurts me to know that I wasn't there. 

It hurts me to know that no one was there. 

This ain't it. 

There has to be more to my life than tests and papers.

There's got to be more than coffee dates and family dinners.

I'm not entirely sure what "more" is but I know that, 

this ain't it. 

All I know is that tonight as I was sitting on the couch watching Nacho Libre, 

all I kept thinking was:

"this is a mighty big couch, I wish I had some little kiddos to snuggle up with and watch TV with me"

"I wish I had a house full of little faces that needed me"

It brings tears to my eyes every time I think about all those little people out there that need me, 

and I'm here drinking an Icee and painting my nails. 

So all I know right now is that,

there's more than this.

And I fully intend on finding out what "more" is. 

It Must Be Love. Pt. II

Hello, my name is Phoebe.

And I love tennis. 

Yes, I love it. 

I love absolutely everything about it.

Allow me to list a few reasons why:

(I like lists)

1. Tennis is dramatic.

Watch any professional tennis match and try to show me one without drama.

Won't happen. 

No one knows the outcome,

and no one will until it's already over.

Here's a little taste of,

11 hours and 5 minutes of drama.

2. Tennis can change in a moment.

Momentum can shift at any point during the game. 

Just because one player is up and doing well in the beginning of a match, 

doesn't mean they are going to continue to do so.

One thing sets them off, and they're done.

One bad call.

One bad game.

One noisy bird. 

They're through. 

3. Tennis is a personal sport. 

The beauty of tennis is that anyone can have the advantage.

Each individual player has certain advantages and disadvantages to their game.

And depending upon who their opponent is, that could be good or bad. 

So there's no ONE way to play tennis.

There are many different techniques and strategies that make each player different.

Each player plays differently.

Each players plays their own game.

4. Tennis is hard. 

Just try and keep score.

Properly. 

If you watch tennis on TV and think:

 "Oh that looks easy enough...ball over net...how hard is that?"

You are WRONG. 

Tennis is HARD.

Tennis is COMPLICATED.

Tennis is NOT easily learned.

The players you see on TV have been working their ENTIRE lives for the ability to make it look easy. 

TENNIS IS HARD.

Confused?

5. Tennis is mental. 

Tennis is not for the weak minded. 

If you can't control your mind on the tennis court, 

GOOD LUCK.

You're done. 

One temper tantrum, and there goes the entire match, 

the entire tournament,

the entire year. 

Mind and emotion control are CRITICAL. 

Roger Federer. 

The greatest player of all time, 

the most mentally disciplined player. 

He never shows emotion on court. 

Never negative.

Rarely positive. 

He's stone faced.

Direct correlation. 

I just wanted to brag on my sport a little. 

It's awesome and I love it dearly.

Get out there and see what makes tennis so great. 

But don't think that just because you own a tennis racquet,

 and some shorts with pockets you're a tennis player. 

You're not. 

You might play tennis.

But you are not a tennis player. 

I have devoted countless hours, unseen amounts of effort, and lots of money into this sport. 

I don't just play tennis. 

I am a tennis player. 

This is my sport and I take it seriously. 

Yes, I do realize that tennis is fun.

That's why I play it. 

And that not everyone has devoted as much to tennis as I have.

I am well aware of such facts. 

All I'm saying is that you don't get the title without the effort. 

You can't call yourself a lawyer unless you go to law school.

And you can't call yourself a tennis player unless you commit to tennis.

This isn't a fair-weathered friend.

This is a life-long love. 

If you would like to see real tennis players in action, 

The Australian Open is currently in progress. 

The first Grand Slam of the year. 

Let the drama begin. 

(check your local listings.)

Free at Last.

There's so much I want to say and share, 

but I can't figure out how to get it out there. 

All I can think to say is that I love my Jesus.

He is real and He has come to free us. 

Yeah, I always knew that,

but, now, I finally get it.

It's not about how good I am,

or what I can do.

It's about who He is,

and His love for me and you.

I used to think I wasn't worth it, 

I wasn't worth that kind of love.

And I was right,

because I was stained and tainted.

Satan had me believing all his lies. 

"You're no good." 

"Just go sit down and cry."

But finally someone heard me. 

Jesus Christ came and set me free. 

He came to release my heart from bondage. 

He came to love me even at this ripe age. 

He started telling me the truth, 

"I made you."

"And I did so with a purpose, Phoebe Ruth."

"So that I can love you."

So now my heart is full. 

Because the Lord has come and made me whole. 

Man didn't do this.

This is no Earthly coincidence. 

But this is a taste of true love's first kiss.

Finally my life is beginning to make some sense.

The Perfect Gift.

So it's ONE WEEK until Christmas.
Yippee!!

I would just like to say that I LOVE Christmas.
As most everyone does.

My absolute favorite part about Christmas is buying other people presents.
Trying to figure out just the right thing to get everyone is SO MUCH FUN.
And let me tell you...
...I am pretty darn good at it.

I have given myself the title of:
"World's BEST gift-giver."
(Don't worry it's been approved by friends and family so I'm not just being pretentious)
(It's just true.)

Gift-giving is an art.
Not everyone is born with this talent.
But everyone can learn it.
So I'm going to share a few tricks of the trade.

1. LISTEN.
Minor comments have always lead me to the best gifts.
When people say...
"Oh my gosh I would love one of these..."
or
"I have always wanted..."
or
"....would really be helpful..."
For example:
Your roommate says,
"Geez I wish I had some bookends to keep the books on my shelf from falling over every time I get something off the shelf"
BINGO.
Bookends.



2.PAY ATTENTION.
Pay attention to them.
Pay attention to their house, car, office, etc
That can give you lots of clues to great gifts.
For example:
Let's say you notice your friends blankets and throw pillows in the living room are looking old and shabby, or might not necessarily go with the decor anymore. Get them some nice, new, cute, fuzzy, blankets and pillows.
That is something you know they will use and would like to have but might not necessarily decide to buy it themselves.
I always love it when someone buys me something I need/want but won't buy it for myself.


3. START EARLY
The sooner you start paying attention,
the more ideas you have.
I constantly have my eyes and ears peeled for gift ideas.
For example:
I don't have any idea when, but I remembered my mom saying that she loved the asian style pajamas. (specifically the ones worn by Vera Ellen in White Christmas)

For years I looked and looked for some like that (within my budget) and I could never find any.

But about 2 years ago I finally did and that was one of the best gifts I have ever given. 

She wears them all the time.


4. THINK PRACTICALLY.
I personally like to get gifts that I can use.
I like things that are pretty but I've never been one for trinkets.
So one thing I love to try and find is something I know they will use on a regular basis,
but it's got a twist.
For example:
If they like to cook,
get them some cool cooking utensils.
They make things that are really useful and cute, especially for the kitchen.
Like a spatula that looks like a microphone.
Or a skillet that has a cute design.
Something ordinary turned interesting.


5. THINK OUTSIDE YOUR BOX.
Try to think like whoever you're shopping for.
One huge mistake people make when buying gifts is saying...
"Well I like it so I figured you would"
WRONG.
While that may be the case sometimes,
more often than not,
IT'S NOT.
For example:
I know my grandma and I both love fresh flowers.
So for me to buy my grandma a bouquet of flowers would be a great gift for her.
She would love to have them brighten up her home.
And vice versa.
If someone bought me flowers I would love them!
Simply because I like looking at pretty flowers.
However, my friend Tisha does not.
It's not that she doesn't like flowers,
 they are just impractical for her,
because they only last a few days before they die.
So in her mind, I'm just buying her something that will die and she will ultimately have to clean up.
So for me to buy Tisha a bouquet of flowers would be a royal blunder.
(She would much prefer that fake wine....amiright??)


6. BE UNIQUE.
When in doubt go for something different.
Be unique.
Get them something that no one else will.
For example:
My brother-in-law, Andy, loves tall, black, Nike socks.
That's all he wears.
So what does everyone give him for Christmas?
You guessed it!
Tall, black, Nike socks.
This kids got socks comin' out the yin-yang.
The last thing he needs is another person giving him a 12-pack of socks.


7.BE CREATIVE.
I do realize (boy do I) that money does not grow on trees.
And so for the more froogle shopper, crafting something might be a good way to go.
And now that we've got Pinterest, you don't have any excuse.
Anyone can go out and buy something,
it takes some real talent to be able to not only make something,
but make something nice enough that people actually want to use it.
For example:
This year for Christmas, my friend Amy, made me a hair clip.

Had she gone out and bought me this I probably would have liked it and worn it a few times,
but it means so much more that she took the time to MAKE it.
And now I'm going to wear it even more so I can brag on her skillz!


I hope this gives all you weary gift-givers out there a little comfort!
Don't stress.
Giving presents is the FUNNEST THING IN THE WORLD.

That Which Continues to be My Delight.

Last week I wrote about my grandmother who had recently passed away.

I told y'all about how she loved well.

And how she taught me to love others well. 

Now I want to talk to someone else who has taught me how to love well.

This example of love goes beyond "well."

This love is exceptional.

Lieutenant Colonel Joseph Gervice Thomas. 

More affectionately known as PaJoe. 

My grandfather. 

The husband of my late grandmother. 

Together they shared 58 years of marriage. 

Three children.

Nine grandchildren.

Two great-grandchildren.

A life full of adventure and surprise.

And more love than most people can even dream of. 

My grandfather was a military man. 

A pilot in the United States Air Force. 

And with that came uncertainty.

They never quite knew when they would have to leave.

How long they would get to stay.

Or where they would be going next. 

Uncle Sam brought, not entirely desired, spontaneity into their lives.

But no matter what the circumstance, 

no matter how much uncertainty,

insecurity,

fear,

or doubt,

one thing remained the same 

the quality of love they had for each other. 

I always knew my grandparents loved each other growing up, 

that was never something I questioned, 

or even really thought about. 

My grandfather is not one prone to emotions. 

He is rather stoic. 

Reserved.

But over the past few years I have had the pleasure of watching him slowly soften. 

It started when my grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. 

And he's been slowly melting away ever since. 

I've had the honor of watching how a man is called to love his wife.

He was by her side until her dying breath,

and he couldn't have imagined being anywhere else. 

He may be stoic and reserved with everyone else, 

but with her it was different. 

She had won his heart long ago,

 and she was the only person who ever had.

Everyone who knows him, 

knows how much he loves her, 

because they could see it.

They could see his tenderness with her. 

They could see his devotion to her. 

They can see his heart belongs to her. 

I know what love from a husband looks like.

Because PaJoe has shown it to me. 

I pray that the Lord blesses me with a husband as loving and as wonderful as my grandfather. 

So gentlemen, if you need some tips on how to love your wife,

I know the perfect person to look to. 

That Which Was Our Delight.

It's a strange feeling when you lose someone you love. 

No matter how prepared you are, 

it still hurts. 

For those of you who don't know,

I lost my grandmother on Friday.

And it's been harder than I expected.

I had been anticipating this for a long time.

In my mind I was prepared, because I knew it was close.

She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2000. 

And it's been a battle ever since. 

At the age of 10,

 I began watching my beautiful Granny slowly fade away. 

Her pain and suffering were long. 

She has been set free from that.

Even though I knew it was only a matter of time.

Even though she was no longer the grandmother I knew. 

Even though she has been set free from suffering.

This was the first time she died. 

And knowing all of those things didn't make that part any easier.

Sadly, the majority of the memories I have of her are after her diagnosis, 

after she had begun to fade.

There are still some cherished memories tucked away in my mind. 

She was the gentlest and kindest person.

Never did she get upset. 

I only ever saw her get truly upset once.

And that was when I spilled a glass of water ALL over her. 

And even then, it only took about 30 seconds for her to move from frustration to laughter.

Never did she raise her voice.

We were some crazy kids. 

We did some dumb stuff. 

And she didn't care.

Never did she scold or disapprove.

No matter what the issue, 

I always knew there was a big lap just waiting for me, 

down the street at Granny's house.

Most importantly to a child, 

Never did she say no. 

Granny was the queen of the word "okay."

Every Friday growing up was "Granny Day."

She would get all 7 grandchildren, 

load us up in her big van,

and we would go do whatever we could.

We went to museums, 

and parks, 

and once a month, 

we went to the mall. 

"Granny Day" eventually lead to "Granny Land."

That's what her home became after many a "Granny Day."

Just to give you a small taste of what I'm talking about, 

Granny had a pool,

and we had a canoe, 

so one day we decided we wanted to put the full-sized, aluminum canoe, in the pool,

what was Granny's response, 

"okay."

We could maybe go a foot and a half before we hit the wall.

But we didn't care.

She let us put the canoe IN the pool!

"Granny Land" was full of afternoons like that. 

Full of fun and laughter and joy and love.

Oh, and IBC Rootbeer and string cheese. 

The snack of champions. 

My grandmother was a woman known by her love. 

She let us play and have fun and be crazy kids, 

because she loved us.

She provided us with a place to find rest and comfort when needed, 

Joy and laughter when we wanted, 

And more memories than we could have ever dreamed of. 

Although at the time of her death she wasn't the grandmother that I knew. 

She was still the grandmother that I love. 

Genevieve Thomas will surely be missed by all who knew her.

Her unforgettable memories will never be forgotten.

And her example of love and joy will be displayed for all to see,

because she taught us how to love like her. 

“When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”

- Kahlil Gibran