Wednesday, August 15, 2012

How Phoebe Got Her Fun Back.

I've officially been back in the "real world" for FOUR whole days now.
Wow,
I can't even believe it.
I already miss Kamp like crazy!

Allow me to explain why.
Kamp is basically just you,
living,
working,
hanging
with about 200 friends
24/7!
IT'S AWESOME!

That's what I miss about Kamp.
I don't miss living without air conditioning,
or sorting mail for 400 people everyday,
or answering the exact same question 30 times a day.
I miss hanging out with my 200 friends and acting goofy.

While at Kamp this summer I had a "revival" of sorts.


I GOT MY FUN BACK.


That's right everyone,
I'M FUN AGAIN!
Wahoo!

As some of you may know,
this past year was rough for me.
There were a lot of difficult and painful situations,
most of which were beyond my control.
I will admit that there were a few times where I unintentionally made my own life suck.
My bad.

And because of all this junk,
I lost my fun.
I had been so down for so long,
I had forgotten what it was like to be up,
to just have fun,
to be goofy and enjoy myself.

So many times last year I prayed for peace,
I prayed for joy,
I prayed for FUN.
And it seemed like I would always get a little taste,
but it never really lasted.
I had given up.
I had just accepted that this was what I was going to be like from now on.
Hi, I'm Phoebe and I'm no fun.
LAME!

But,
I didn't get joy then because I wasn't ready for it.
I didn't get peace then because it wasn't time for peace yet.
I didn't get fun because God wouldn't have been fully glorified in it yet.
I'm not 100% sure why this was given to me when it was,
but I don't really think I need to know that.

 I do need to know that the Lord is faithful.
That the Lord heard my prayers.
That the Lord listened to ME.
He heard me ask for these things;
and He knew I wanted them;
He knew I needed them,
but He also knew when to give them to me.

He knew that if He had blessed me with these things any sooner,
I wouldn't have been able to fully accept them.
I might not have had the support group around me to encourage me.
I might not have been able to see the blessings.
Who knows??
Not me.

But what I do know is that the Lord has finally restored me.
He never left me.
He never neglected me.
He always listened to me.
He was preparing me,
so that one night upstairs in my cabin,
I could look back on a day of fun and silliness,
and proudly proclaim, "I'M FUN AGAIN!"
(Yes, I really did shout this aloud with my fists raised in triumph.)

And ya know what?
Fun feels really good!
I love it.
It's stinking AWESOME.

So thank you to all of you who put up with me while I was trying to find my fun.
Your patience is very much noticed and appreciated;
I do realize just how very "un-fun" I was,
and I apologize.
Thanks for sticking with me.
And don't worry,
CAUSE THE FUN IS HERE TO STAY!